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Marriage: Foundations & Principles – Lesson 5: The Need of the Husband

Scripture Verse: Proverbs 31:11-12.


A husband has certain roles and responsibilities, but he also has specific, unique needs. Leading a family according to God’s will in the war zone of today’s society is no small task. Standing for righteousness and purity beckons a flurry of criticism and rejection. To withstand the fiery darts of the world and Satan, a husband needs his wife’s support, encouragement, and trust.

Family life grants us the opportunity to know others in an undisguised way. Virtually every wife in the world could reveal her husband’s weaknesses, failures, and inconsistencies. Within these things, though, lies a husband’s greatest need. In spite of his broken promises and failures, a husband wants nothing more than his wife to be proud of him, to follow him, and to encourage him when others criticize.

Wives play an integral part of their husband’s success. In becoming one flesh, who he is forever changes. He’s no longer a single man but a person in need of his wife for completion. The fact that the woman was created to be her husband’s unique helper gives us a picture of the man’s incompleteness. If men weren’t half-made, would there be a need for marriage?

Speaking of the man’s need is truly meaningful when men admit their need. Confessing reliance upon a wife isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of great strength and humility. Husbands who limit or refuse reliance on their wives reject the intended intimacy God planned for marriage, reject the opportunity God has given them to be completed by a wife, and, worst of all, reject God and His sovereign will.

Lesson Questions:

  1. Why is it important to the husband that his wife is committed to his leadership? Matthew 12:25; Amos 3:3; II Samuel 6:20-23; Genesis 27:5-17.
  2. How can a wife minister to her husband’s needs in a way no one else can? Proverbs 31:12,29; I Peter 3:1.
  3. Explain why a wife’s support and encouragement is much more crucial to a husband than anyone else’s. Proverbs 12:4; 31:11.
  4. How can a wife’s criticism wreak havoc on her husband’s role as spiritual leader? Ephesians 4:29; Proverbs 12:18; 29:20; 15:1b.
  5. Even though the husband is the head of the family, should he accept constructive criticism and rebuke from his wife? Romans 15:14; Colossians 3:16; Proverbs 19:20; 31:26.
  6. Discuss the significance of Proverbs 31:10-31 being written to a man.
    Note: Examine Proverbs 31:2 and you’ll notice King Lemuel was writing to his son, not his daughter.