An International Center for Fellowship and Learning

Marriage: Foundations & Principles – Lesson 2: Driven by Purpose

Scripture Verse: Proverbs 29:18.


They sit across from each other at the dinner table night after night, wondering what life is all about. He doesn’t know why the marriage has become dull and lifeless; she doesn’t know why he’s reluctant to spend time with her. Frustration builds and, after months of agony, he asks finally asks the question: “What is our marriage all about? Where are we going and how do we know if we’ve arrived?

Every marriage needs purpose. Without it, husbands and wives drift aimlessly in a sea of confusion and frustration. Yet, the solution isn’t for every couple to arbitrarily decide what their marital purpose is and pursue it with a passion. This could be just as disastrous as having no purpose at all.

True biblical purpose isn’t created. It’s discovered. From fervent prayer, meditation, and bible study, God’s purposes are revealed to Christian families. We shouldn’t place a random purpose at the forefront of our life simply for the sake of having a purpose. Our responsibility is to discover the everlasting purposes of God, and keep our eyes focused on them through Him.

Some might say the individual purpose of each spouse unites to form a sufficient marital purpose. Not so. The individual purpose of a man and woman can be drastically different and, therefore, husbands and wives must faithfully discover the will of God together. If they don’t, true unity will always be elusive.

Will the purpose of every marriage be identical? In some respects, yes, and in some respects, no. Yes, in the sense that all marriages should be founded upon the principles of God’s Word. On the other hand, God’s call upon each couple is unique, and their marital purpose should reflect His calling on their united life.

Lesson Questions:

  1. Having a clearly established personal purpose is necessary in our individual walk with Jesus Christ but why is it necessary that every Christian marriage have a biblically-based purpose? Proverbs 29:18; Matthew 6:33; Philippians 3:13-14.
    Note: Notice the clearly defined purpose of Jesus in Matthew 5:17, Luke 4:43, Luke 12:49, John 3:17, John 10:10, and I Timothy 1:15. As His life was filled with the of purposes of His Father, ours should be, too.
  2. What pitfalls can be expected when a marriage lacks purpose? Matthew 6:22-23; Proverbs 29:18; II Peter 1:5-10.
  3. How can tangible goals help a husband and wife fulfill their calling and their ultimate responsibility of obedience to God? Proverbs 13:12; 13:19; 14:23; I Corinthians 9:24-27.
  4. How does marriage help prepare people for true selflessness? I Corinthians 13:4-8; 7:3-5; Matthew 20:28.
  5. Discuss the following statement: “A husband’s job is to make his wife a success in the Kingdom of God and a wife’s job is to make her husband a success in the Kingdom of God.” Is this statement true? Why or why not?