Scripture Text: Matthew 19:4-6
Memory Verse: Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:24
Lesson Aim: To reinforce the foundational elements necessary to sustain a godly marriage.
Key Points
- The concepts of receiving, leaving, and cleaving are vital to the success of a marriage.
- Our responsibility is to submit to God and each other in every aspect of the marital relationship.
In the previous lesson we were reminded that marriage was good – God made it that way. Despite the world’s negative opinion about marriage, it is here to stay. It is one thing to know the reasons and purposes for marriage, but how do we make them a reality in our lives? Our goal should be to make it everything that God intended for it to be.
However, with practically half the marriages in the United States ending in divorce, our society has basically abandoned the sanctity of marriage. Unfortunately, the marital success rate of professing Christians is not much better. Even in the Church of God, the number of poor marriages and broken homes is alarming. Perhaps it is the result of ignorance, or perhaps it is due to laziness and disobedience. Regardless, God is calling us to live differently. We are to be an example to the world, not of the world.
In Genesis 2:24, God established a simple footprint for a successful marriage. Even though the details vary with every relationship, the concepts of receiving one’s mate, leaving one’s parents, and cleaving to one’s spouse are vital to a successful marriage. These three concepts need to be valued and practiced throughout a lifetime.
When Eve was presented to Adam, he accepted her just as she was. He knew God was giving her to him and he had the utmost trust and confidence that God was giving him what was best for him. It was not until after sin entered into the picture that we see Adam having problems accepting Eve. Whereas affirmation and appreciation were the norm, now the very opposite (blame and fault finding) have become standard human behavior.
Another critical factor in living a successful marriage is to leave one’s parents. That means leaving them physically, emotionally, financially. It does not mean that you have to go clear across the country or to another continent, but you leave from under their authority, their protection and their influence as you establish your own family under God.
Cleaving is difficult if you do not leave. Although physically cleaving is very important in a marriage, that is not all cleaving entails. In order to have a successful marriage, the husband and wife also need to cleave to each other emotionally and spiritually. It is in this bonding process that God’s purposes of developing and growing us takes place. It is in the cleaving process that we must co-labor with God to achieve oneness. What God put together, let no man (not even yourself) put asunder.
Although the pressures of modern society have tried to alter roles and responsibilities in marriage, it is important that we continue to acknowledge and follow God’s blueprint for marriage. Ephesians 5:22-30 summarizes it well. Husbands still need to be servant-leaders, love their wives and care for them. Wives still need to love their husbands, submit to them, and respect them.
It is important that we submit ourselves to God and each other in every aspect of the marital relationship. I challenge you to pursue God’s will together. Depend on the Holy Spirit to lead you and direct you. Pray for and with your spouse, and actively apply the Word of God to your marriage so that you, too, can enjoy the blessings of a “different” marriage.
Questions and Discussion
- What critical elements are necessary to maintain a successful marriage? Psalm 127:1; Genesis 2:21-23; Ephesians 5:24-25; 1 Peter 3:7
- Discuss the varied aspects of receiving, leaving, and cleaving? Genesis 2:23-24; Matthew 19:5-6
- How does vertical alignment impact the marriage relationship? 1 Corinthians 11:3 In what ways have changes in society impacted the structure and effectiveness of marriages today?
- Discuss what we can do to experience marriage as the blessing God intended for it to be. Ephesians 5:28-31, 33; Titus 2:4-5; Philippians 2:3-4; Ephesians 5:18