Scripture Text: Psalm 127
Memory Verse: Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it; unless the Lord guards the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. Psalm 127:1
Lesson Aim: To explain the concept of a healthy self-esteem and teach ways to help our family members develop a healthy self-esteem.
Key Points - Self-esteem is what you think and feel about yourself, your role, personal value and identity. - The development of a child’s understanding of who s/he is largely depends on how the child develops in the family. - Everyone in the family needs to have a healthy self-image.
Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary Tenth Edition defines self-esteem as a confidence and satisfaction in one’s self; self-respect. Unfortunately, the world’s view of self-esteem is often totally centered on one’s self and selfish motives. For our purposes, self-esteem is what you think and feel about yourself, your role, personal value and identity. That involves knowing who you are in Christ and knowing that you can be what He wants you to be.
We come into the world with an open mind and the potential for greatness. However, the development of a child’s understanding of who s/he is largely depends on how that child develops in the family. What we hear and perceive about ourselves from our parents and siblings greatly affect the development of a healthy image of one’s self.
As we grow, our peers, teachers, co-workers, other people, the media, our society, and culture also affect how we view ourselves. In marriage, our spouses impact the view we have of ourselves. As we move from one stage of life to another we carry with us the collective impact of our experiences. The self-image we carry of ourselves will affect all areas of our lives.
A person’s self-esteem might well be the most fragile part of their nature. Hence, everyone in the family needs to have a healthy self image. Yes, husbands and wives, fathers and mothers, too! A healthy self-esteem has God as the foundation while an unhealthy self-esteem’s foundation is based on “I”. As family members, it is therefore vitally important that we understand our responsibility to help our family members to develop a positive self-image.
One of the vital factors in developing a healthy self-image is appreciation. We are made in God’s image and we are fearfully and wonderfully made. We must value our family members as precious gifts from God. Therefore, we must love each other the way we say we love God (with unconditional love). We should make good use of the five love languages. Only then can we begin to help our family members have a healthy view of themselves. We must lead them to have the right kind of self-esteem, which says:
- “My life has a purpose.”
- “I belong here.”
- “I can love and be loved.”
- “I need others as they need me.”
- “I will seek forgiveness for my wrongs.”
- “I can be anything God enables me to be.”
Although we communicate by word, gesture and our attitude, the words we speak to one another have the greatest potential to strengthen or poison one’s self-esteem. Therefore, we need to speak words that value our family members. There is no room for rejection, putdowns, teasing, “joning”, name calling and hateful expressions because these behaviors will poison the self-esteem of family members. Instead, we must offer approval and encouragement, as well as the appropriate boundaries and discipline, recognizing that it is our duty to prepare our families for a godly and productive life.
Questions and Discussion
- One of the first steps to building self-esteem in our families is to value our family members. Anything that we appreciate will grow in value. What can we learn from these Scriptures? Psalm 139:13-16; Ephesians 2:10; Psalm 127:3-4; Proverbs 18:22; Ephesians 5:33; 1 Peter 3:7
- What part does acceptance or rejection play in the formation of our self-esteem?
- How do our words impact the self-esteem of our family members? Proverbs 11:9, 12:25; Ephesians 4:29 Words are seeds and they produce after their kind. List some of the words and phrases we may say that produce either fruit or weeds.
- What are some practical things we can do to build our family members’ self-esteem?
- What can a person do if they recognize that they have low self-esteem? Matthew 6:25-26; 33; Ephesians 2:10; Philippians 3:13-14